How to Retain Power in Dating (And Why Most Men Give It Away)
To get laid often and to accumulate significant influence over others, you must retain more than 50% of the power. Nietzsche wasn't kidding.
This is a truth whether people like it or not, and whether we want to admit it or not. To get laid often and to accumulate significant influence over others, you must retain more than 50% of the power. Nietzsche wasn’t kidding. In countless ways, life truly is a struggle for power. Regardless of the situation, this struggle ensues.
Is your current stance in a position of power, or a position of wanting where you feel like you’re being systematically drained? If that’s the case, you need to cash in while you can.
If you approach a woman and she dominates you from the get-go, it probably isn’t going to end in your favor.
If you’re chasing, you’re not the one in control. The idea is to be approached more often than having to do the approaching.
If you’re getting pushed around, then either you are allowing this to happen to you or, for some reason, you feel it’s necessary to play the victim. Stop it.
Human beings crave and are drawn to power. The key is to be the fiddler, not the mice.
State Your Purpose Up Front
Part of retaining power early on is setting limits and laying down your rules. You are in control of how people treat you. You need to let them know what your intent is, what you seek to gain, what you’re bringing to the table and what you simply are not willing to negotiate on. People respect that. This same frame is exactly what separates the men who pass when she tests you from those who crumble under pressure. Furthermore, never be afraid to say no. NO is a huge power grab in most circumstances.
Learn to Read Through the Lines
We are all manipulators. It’s human nature. We do it every day either to other people or to ourselves for whatever reason. Now, there’s a big difference between retaining power and being manipulative (subtly) and being a complete jerk. Read through the lines and realize that we are all self-interested creatures.
What do they want from you?
What are they trying to gain?
What kind of value do they believe you have for them?
Does what they say and what they do add up?
Once You’ve Lost Power, It’s Hard to Regain
Whether in a relationship or a business partnership or friendship, once you’ve retreated and given up power, it’s going to be incredibly hard to regain to measure your expected value. Is it worth it?
Where Do You Stand Right Now?
Take stock of all of your current relationships, and those people who you’re trying to form one with. How’s the power struggle going? Who has the greater portion of influence?
Start being more up front with people and setting up personal boundaries.
Start being comfortable with telling people no, because again, it’s typically a substantial power grab.
Once you recognize that people are at least in part in it for themselves, you can begin to read between the lines and recognize manipulation when you see it.
After you’ve lost ground, you need to think seriously about whether or not it is worth your time and effort to regain it.
Remember that dramatic people may get attention, but they don’t get power in relationships. It’s often quite the opposite.
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